Hi! I haven’t been able to hit the keyboard much lately and keep my blogs growing. I just took some time today to get some thoughts and feelings out.

A few days ago, a friend of mine was having a horrible day at work. His research had failed or something, and he could not deal with the stress. So, he started telling me details of everything going on with him. I calmly listened for a while, then I started offering him solutions. We have been excellent friends, and we have discussed our professional (and sometimes personal) issues in the past. And, I felt like offering advice is a reasonable thing to do. He listened to whatever I had to say; I may have said more than what I had heard about his issues. He remained silent for a while after that, and before hanging up the call, he said: “I just wanted you to hear me; I didn’t need your answers”. I was confused and shocked. What did I do? I didn’t realise what I had done wrong. Then, I got annoyed with his act, and perhaps a bit angry, and went ahead with my everyday life for a few days. But the thought of what did I do wrong was bothering me. I got the answer: He just wanted to be heard. He just wanted to vent out.

Practising a communication exercise that involves deep and kind listening to the other person is essential in any relationship: Just listening to hear instead of answering. It consists of getting into a space where both the person communicate freely, just enjoying that moment when one speaks his (or her) heart and mind out. The other one listens mindfully with no agenda to answer back with advice. Instead, a mindful listening would be to take a moment to ask for some details about what the person said. For example, “I heard you said that you were thinking of taking a break and visiting some places. Have you thought of any place yet?” This simple act could make the person feel heard. Again, the things said here are not robotic; this has to happen from the heart with feelings, that is, by actively engaging the body and mind to listen to the other person. I am sure this could help us in our daily lives: feeling good about our relationships with families, friends, or even in the professional sphere. So let’s practice the idea of active and mindful listening.

Thanks for hearing me out; I didn’t need your answer ;-)